Archive [June 24th, 2020]
How To Punish A Witch is a lewd dart game about a bullied kiddo becoming the bully kid. . . with the help of black magic and wieners. Hey, I like the sound of that combo.
At a glance
(Adult) Content?
(FxM) Sexual content.
Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!
Hours of Gameplay?
One hour.
Modding Support?
No.
Patch Available?
No, not necessary.
Gameplay
There are no tutorial illustrations or levels to be seen. Most devs that can’t be bothered to offer interactive tutorials at least provide a picture guide to help players. Thankfully, this is an easy game to pick up.
It’s a basic dart game. You toss darts onto a spinning platform, and the idea is to only hit empty spaces.
Story
Before the game begins, you must enter a name. I opted for the name that was provided, Alderman. It is unclear what gender the protagonist is from the get-go. This is a common mistake for adult-games that ask for a name. It’s generally safe to assume a male gender.
Krystianna isn’t fond of Alderman, for reasons unknown. He wants to extract revenge on her, for uh, reasons. In this world, magic exists, and it is taught in “magic schools”. Magic users hide in society, keeping their powers a secret from the general public. From the Soul Bar they discuss their secrets with other wizards, and (I later found out) that the events of this game take place in the Soul Bar. Alderman was hecka bullied in school, and that’s the reason he wants to punish Krystianna, among others.
His idea of “punishment” involves the forceful insertation of his phallic friend into his lady “friends”. Fair warning.
Visuals
The titlescreen is promising, it reminded me of what one would expect in an arcade. I was disappointed by the lack of title menu, however. It was straight to the level-select screen. The interface as a whole is stylish, each button conforming to a sort-of fantasy theme. You can mute/unmute the game with a press of a button, but the lack of user-settings was abysmal. A few buttons (for difficulty setting and language preference) appear to be non-functional. Either they are broken, or intended to be updated. Non-functional buttons shoul not be present on the screen, or they should at least be greyed-out. CG’s can be reviewed from “Memories”, but they cannot be full-screened and are heavily obstructed by the user-interface. They must also be reviewed in sequence, with text, and cannot be skipped.
If you click on a “memory” and don’t like it, you’re better off rebooting the game.
The Goods
The artwork is darned good, but hampered by the awful aspect ratio and poor writing. The English that goes with each scene is rather meh. Expect male-on-female sexual intercourse.
Verdict
I recommend this game, even with it’s clear flaws. It’s easy to pick up, and it sports a plenty of sexy, non-consensual witch intercourse. If you’re looking for wholesome entertainment, you came to the wrong game.
