Funny Business with My Precious Coach (Anipuzzle Series) is a lewd swippy-swappy puzzle game about a coach and his favorite player.
At-a-glance
(Adult) Content?
(FxM) Sexual content.
Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!
Hours of Gameplay?
On hour.
Modding Support?
No.
Patch Available?
No, not necessary.
Gameplay
Watch a video, solve a swippy-swappy puzzle, watch another video, rinse and repeat once or twice and the game’s over. Unlike most swippy-swappies, you can only move adjacent tiles (which makes solving them almost as annoying as slider-puzzles.) The puzzles and videos must be played in chorological order, and there is no “episode select” screen or gallery to review CGs.
Between the massive amount of animations, and little amount of actual game, I think this title would have been best suited as a purchasable video. Most swippy-swappy puzzle games have at least ten puzzles to solve, and that’s at the one-dollar price point. There’s no reason that there couldn’t have been more puzzles to solve. Figuring out which pieces go where while they were animated with sex-scenes actually made for an challenging experience. It was hard to match the correct pieces of the animation together, and this is a feature few games enjoy.
Story
There’s a coach, and there’s a player. He takes her from behind, and informs her that she won’t be allowed on the team unless she gives up her virginity to him. Like any reasonable woman, that’s exactly what she does.
Visuals
As much as I enjoyed the animated titlescreen, I found the title-menu to be disappointing. You can toggle borderless fullscreen from the titlemenu, and audio preferences from in-game. However, the puzzles cannot be muted, and you can’t minimize the application once it’s been fullscreened. To the puzzles’ credit the music is probably some the best puzzle music I’ve ever heard — it’s so awesome, I actually ran this game in the background specifically to listen to it while I wrote this review.
Hey developers, can we get a soundtrack DLC?
The Goods
It’s pretty obvious where the budget went for this game — this game is practically a short, animated hentai film. There are three films to watch, each depicting a wide range of animation loops. It’s a bit like watching one of those lewd “SFM compilations”, but way higher quality. For starters, there’s actually money shots, and they’re pretty hot n’ juicy — just sayin’. All sexual content is rendered using a pair of 3D models, and they look great! Although, I did spot animation errors here and there, which appeared to be the result of collision errors (causing unnatural bends and clipping). Overall, I’m impressed by the sexual content.
Verdict
Wait for a strong sale. The sexual content this game has to offer is phenomenal, but their is zero interactivity, and the gameplay is weak. With that in mind, Funny Business with My Precious Coach is effectively a pornographic short. I don’t doubt for a second that it’s worth full price, it’s a wonderful collection of videos. However, porn is free. If this title featured significantly more puzzles to solve, then it might have been a good game. Unless you the art and animation speak out to you, I’d definitely wait for a sale, or browse your favorite adult website.
